The interesting thing about these rues and boundaries is how often the people who establish them violate them, but if you violate them, you are the one called out.
I have often spoken about how life in the taxi and life in the night was brutal and gritty, but it was honest. Part of it was the rules. As gritty as it is, it makes sense. There is an order in the chaos. I often miss the chaos because I miss living in a world that makes sense.
In the gritty world a person of faith lives their faith out even if they are homeless and dying from poverty. While in the civilized world they stop reading their Bible or living the sermons they hear just because things are stressful or not going their idyllic way. An atheist in the gritty world will not commit to the foxhole prayers that the ones in the civilized world do. They are equally true to their convictions.
In the gritty world if a person does not want to be treated or spoken to in a manner, they will uphold that code in how they speak to and treat others. If they speak or behave out of turn, they know that there is a consequence. I will not even get into the civilized world on that one.
The civilized world is not very civilized and the gritty one has order. It may look a little dirty, and it is, but it is also true.
If you feel a little dirty and gritty, then you may be honest. Embrace it. There is beauty there that others with false veneers will not understand.