So, if I needed a substitute, I figured something from a Eucharist or communion where some see Jesus as a substitutional atonement for the sins of mankind would work. It sparked some interesting emoitons as I have not looked at these shots in awhile. This particular set of elements was the day I was ordained. This shot was taken less than an hour before I would be surrounded by bishops blessing me and ordaining me into the lineage of apostolic succession. It was a day filled with emotions that were hopeful and proud of a long and arduous journey. It was a day full of dreams and hopes that would have to be substituted.
Life has not gone the way I planned it. Today's entry and picture did not go the way I planned it. The day did not go the way I planned it. When I focused on my plans not working out, I was frustrated. When I changed my focus to the things that made me laugh and smile today while shooting from the hip, it was okay.
Back then I hated having to substitute one plan for another. One dream for another. It felt like the end of the world. I did not like things outside of my control. I did not like people in the way of progress. I could not accept or abide it. Sometimes I still do not.
And when I focus on the wrong thing, I am miserable. When I let the change happen and change the plan and expectations, it seems to be all right.
Recently some expectation that were not mine to make alone did not go the way I planned. And in my resistance to the change, I almost lost the core of one of the most precious gifts in my life. It was only after I stood at the precipice near the point of no return...something else happened and everything changed.
Was it the expectation? No. But it looks like where it is going is even more beautiful and honest and good.
The Dali Lama once said:
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”Plans do not work out.
We can substitute and still be true to us.
Sometimes the plans we make are not ours to make.
Yep. I think I covered it all.